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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491737">Walls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxflames/pseuds/Foxflames'>Foxflames</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BokuAka Week, Boys In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fukuroudani, KuroKen Week, Loss of Trust, Love, M/M, Trust, Trust Issues, Volleyball</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:34:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxflames/pseuds/Foxflames</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>WARNING: Contains mentions of suicide <br/>Akaashi is lost and doesn’t know what to do after his parents have a car crash. Then he meets Bokuto...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Walls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“The world is a cruel place. That’s what I recently learnt. People who you wish would stay in your life forever, snatched away, leaving you all alone in this merciless world.” Thought Akaashi. </p>
<p>——</p>
<p>Akaashi and his family are on a road trip, visiting distant family. They are peacefully driving on a highway when, out of no where, a lorry appears in front of the black Toyota. Akaashi’s father tries to swerve but it’s no use. Akaashi glances up and a look of pure terror overtakes his face. </p>
<p>The car crashes into the 3 tonne lorry. Akaashi yells. His father is unconscious with blood dripping down the side of his head. His mother is slipping in and out of consciousness but manages to form the words “go Akaashi”. Akaashi stifles a sob and cries “no I’m not leaving you. We’ll figure something out”.</p>
<p>His mother persists and weakly tells him “There’s not much time. Travel the world and find someone you love. Go now. I love you sweetheart”. She falls still. By this point Akaashi is sobbing and doesn’t  try to hide it. “I love you” were the only three words he could muster before disappearing into the night. He runs as quickly as he can and ends up at his house before collapsing in the hallway.</p>
<p>It was at this moment that Akaashi vowed never to let anyone close to him and he built walls around his heart. He thought that if he did let anyone close to him, they too would be snatched away. </p>
<p>——</p>
<p>Akaashi wakes up in a sweat after remembering that incident. It was the same nightmare he had had for weeks now. It haunted him ever since that night.</p>
<p>Since the incident, whenever he would go out, he would put on a facade to trick people into thinking he was ok when in reality he was broken inside. Whenever he saw someone he knew, he would put on a mask and smile brightly. If he was asked how he was, he would always reply “I’m fine don’t worry about me.” </p>
<p>All he really wanted was for someone to see through his facade and tell him everything will be ok. He desperately longed for a hug filled with warmth. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live like this,” thought Akaashi “It’s my fault that they’re dead. It should’ve been me. I hate myself. I have no friends, no family and nothing to live for. I would be better off dead”</p>
<p>He contemplates what to do as he eyes the pills sitting on his desk which is what he had been doing for the past few days. He sighed and extended his arm to grab the pills, planning to overdose. He thought it was easier than dealing with the guilt that was eating away at him. </p>
<p>He really didn’t want to die but saw no other possible solution. “Send me a sign to stay alive” he silently prayed. With trembling fingers, he fumbled to twist off the lid. He sharply inhaled, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. </p>
<p>“If there’s someone watching me, send me a sign to stay alive” he desperately thought “anything.” Nothing happened. A tear escaped his left eye. “This is it. Goodbye world” Akaashi said aloud as he grabbed a handful of pills with shaking fingers. </p>
<p>A force thrust Akaashi against the wall and he heard a faint yell of “earthquake” from down below. Akaashi immediately broke down in tears as he slid down the wall. He sobbed for what felt like years with his head buried in his hands.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry mum and dad. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you in time. I’m so useless I can’t do anything right.” Tears flooded his cheeks, drowning him. Glancing at the pills laying abandoned on the ground, he choked “but this was my sign to keep living.”</p>
<p>Akaashi was exhausted so he thought it would be better if he rested and he could figure out what to do in the morning. He got into bed and immediately fell into a dreamless sleep. </p>
<p>The next morning when Akaashi’s alarm rang, he got up, repeated his tedious morning routine then left for his volunteer work. Since he loved animals and needed to build up his work experience, a week ago he applied to volunteer at the local animal shelter. </p>
<p>——<br/>[at the animal shelter]</p>
<p>Akaashi walks up to the front desk and mumbles “I’m a volunteer.” The woman at the desk exclaims “oh go on in. There should be another volunteer coming soon” pointing at the door to her right. He enters the room. </p>
<p>Akaashi sits down and waits for what seems like an eternity for someone to enter but no one comes. Ten minutes later, he gets up. “This is stupid. No ones coming. I might as well just leave,” he thought. He opened the door and walked out but he bumped into someone and a flood of papers fall to the ground. </p>
<p>“Oh no I’m so sorry,” Akaashi started as he helps to pick up some of the papers. “Well done. You can’t do anything right can you?” The voice in his head tells him. “No worries,” a cheery voice replies. Akaashi looks up and is met with two bright, smiling eyes. </p>
<p>In front of him is a man with black and white hair that stuck up at the ends. He is much taller than Akaashi and is wearing a bright smile. “Hi I’m Bokuto, a volunteer here. You must be the other volunteer,” he said. </p>
<p>Akaashi didn’t know what to say so he mumbled “I’m Akaashi.” “Don’t let anyone get close to you or they’ll be taken away” his inner voice told him. </p>
<p>Bokuto continued “I’m so excited to be volunteering here. I love animals.” His personality reminded Akaashi of a playful puppy. Akaashi sits down on a chair nearby and Bokuto takes the one next to him. The conversation continues which consists of mainly Bokuto speaking with the occasional mumble from Akaashi. </p>
<p>They’re both called to groom the rescue animals. Akaashi glances at Bokuto as he gently brushes a golden retriever’s fur. “What an odd person,” he thought silently “I won’t let him break down my walls though.” </p>
<p>Once Bokuto is finished, Akaashi spots him standing in a corner waiting. Akaashi quickly finishes and Bokuto walks up to him. “Hey are you done?” Bokuto asks. “Yes,” Akaashi coldly replies. Bokuto notices his tone and gently asks “are you ok?” to which Akaashi replies “I’m fine don’t worry about me.” Bokuto doesn’t believe him but still says “ok if you’re sure.”</p>
<p>Bokuto holds out his phone to Akaashi and with a new contact on it. “I don’t text much,” Akaashi says. Bokuto’s smile falls and instantly Akaashi feels a twinge of guilt. “I guess I could make an exception though,” Akaashi says. A smile spread across Bokutos face, lighting it up. “What a bother,” thought Akaashi as he inputs in his phone number. “Yay” Bokuto yells. Bokuto saves him as ‘Agaashi’ and Akaashi notices but doesn’t care enough to correct him. </p>
<p>——<br/>[back at Akaashi’s house]</p>
<p>Akaashi returns home and sits on his bed when his phone vibrates. He opens the message and sees that Bokuto has messaged him “HEYYY!!!” He contemplates what to do and the voice in his head tells him not to reply but he remembers Bokutos sad face from earlier and decides otherwise. </p>
<p>Akaashi: hi<br/>Bokuto: What are you up to???<br/>Akaashi: nothing<br/>Bokuto: I’m so excited for the volunteer work. I really enjoyed it today and I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow!!<br/>Akaashi: same<br/>Bokuto: I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a great evening! <br/>Akaashi: bye</p>
<p>Akaashi felt exhausted after talking to Bokuto even though it was only for 5 minutes. He thought Bokuto was too enthusiastic for him. He drifted off to sleep thinking about what a strange person Bokuto was. </p>
<p>——<br/>[the next morning]</p>
<p>As Akaashi is leaving his house he hears a familiar voice shouting his name. “Hey Agaashi I didn’t know you lived on this street too,” he heard. It was Bokuto. </p>
<p>Bokuto runs to catch up to him and for the first time Akaashi notices his muscular build. “Oh were you wondering why I’m so muscular?” Bokuto asks playfully “it’s because I practice volleyball every day. I’m a spiker.” He beams. Akaashi has to squint his eyes to look at him because he’s shining. </p>
<p>“Do you play volleyball?” Bokuto asks. “I used to,” Akaashi mutters. “Wow that’s so cool. What position did you play?” Bokuto enthusiastically questions. “Setter,” Akaashi answers. “Woah! No way! We should totally play together sometime!” Bokuto continues. A melancholic look passes over Akaashis face. </p>
<p>Truth be told, Akaashi hadn’t played volleyball since the night of the incident because it was his mum who got him to sign up for it. He thought it would be too painful to play it again but, for some reason, he didn’t want to let Bokuto down so he simply nodded. </p>
<p>A small crack appeared in the walls that were built around Akaashi’s heart. </p>
<p>——</p>
<p>After they had finished their volunteer work, Bokuto invited Akaashi to play volleyball with him at a nearby court. “I can’t,” Akaashi quietly says. “Don’t agree, you can’t let him break down your walls,” his inner voice stated. </p>
<p>Bokuto sighs “Please Agaashi. Please?” Akaashi doesn’t know how to respond and looks up into Bokutos puppy eyes. “How could I ever say no to those eyes?” He asked himself. </p>
<p>“Fine but only for an hour,” he hesitantly agrees. Bokuto jumps up and down and has an excited twinkle in his eyes making him even brighter than he was before.</p>
<p>——</p>
<p>Bokuto and Akaashi arrive at the volleyball court and Akaashi spots a tall figure at the far end of the court practicing against a wall alone. “Wait here,” he tells Akaashi. “Kuroo!” Bokuto yells “come over here for a second. I want to introduce you to someone!” </p>
<p>A smart looking boy with black hair covering one of his eyes approaches Akaashi next to Bokuto. “This is Akaashi,” Bokuto tells Kuroo . “I’m Kuroo. It’s nice to finally meet you Akaashi. Bokuto has told me all about you. He can’t stop talking about y-“ Bokuto cuts him off. </p>
<p>“Well come on. What are we waiting for. Let’s go play!” Kuroo says with a grin. They get set up in the nearest court and Akaashi sets to Bokuto while Kuroo tries to block. Soon he gets used to Bokuto’s spikes and sets to him like he had been setting to him for years. </p>
<p>It was the most fun he had had since the night of the incident. For a while, Akaashi forgets about all of the bad things he had gone through and for the first time he felt free. Akaashi smiles and the small crack in the walls around his heart gets bigger. He forgot how happy volleyball used to make him. Bokuto notices his smile and he grins. </p>
<p>Kuroo’s phone rings and he runs off court to get it. Bokuto and Akaashi are alone on the court and Akaashi collapses onto the floor with a smile on his face. “You look like you had fun,” Bokuto says. “Yeah I forgot how much I loved volleyball,” Akaashi says “I haven’t played it since...” he trails off. </p>
<p>“Whatever you’re going through Agaashi I want you to know you’re not alone. I mean you have a super duper amazing friend,” Bokuto says striking a pose. Akaashi giggles and Bokuto’s grin widens. “In all seriousness if you ever decide you want to confide in someone I’m here for you,” he solemnly says as he puts a hand on Akaashi’s hand. Akaashi’s heart flutters. </p>
<p>“Don’t let him get close to you,” the voice in his head told him. Hesitantly, Akaashi pulls his hand back. “It’s gonna be ok,” Bokuto softly tells him “trust me it will.” Akaashi is about to thank him when Kuroo comes back. </p>
<p>“Oh were you guys having a moment. Should I leave?” He teases. “Don’t be like that Kuroo,” Bokuto laughs. Akaashi finds it in him to smile. “Who was that anyways. I didn’t know you had any friends aside from me,” Bokuto teases. “Oh it was Kenma. He wants me back home in the next half an hour but before I leave since we’re friends now, Akaashi what’s your number?” Kuroo asks. </p>
<p>Kuroo takes Akaashi’s number and then he says “I’ll see you later. I have to go now or Kenma will probably kill me. You know what he’s like. He loves me though,” he picks up his kit and leaves. Akaashi walks over and picks up his phone. “21:13” his phone displays. “Woah when did it get so late?” Akaashi asks “we’ve been here for over 3 hours.” Bokuto laughs “time flies when you’re having fun.” </p>
<p>Akaashi and Bokuto walk home together and the street lights make Bokuto glow even more. Akaashi finds himself opening up more and more as they talk. He also catches himself smiling and blushing slightly. </p>
<p>“Remember you can’t get too close,” the voice in his head tells him and for the first time he brushes it away. The crack in the walls around his heart expands, covering a quarter of the wall and for the first time in weeks, he is genuinely happy. Bokuto notices this once again and he smiles to himself. </p>
<p>They stand outside of Akaashi’s door and Akaashi wants to invite him in but the voice in his head tells him otherwise. He hesitates, conflicted and after what seems like years, says goodbye. “I’ll text you later,” Bokuto brightly says. “Ok!” Akaashi replies. </p>
<p>He races up to his room and waits for Bokuto’s text. A minute passes, then 10, then half an hour. Each minute is excruciatingly painful for Akaashi. “What am I doing. He’s probably forgotten about me,” Akaashi sighs, changing into his pyjamas. Suddenly his phone buzzes with a FaceTime call. </p>
<p>Akaashi jumps and immediately picks up. Bokuto’s face fills his phone screen and his heart jumps. “Why do I feel this way?” Akaashi wonders. “Um Agaashi you-“ Bokuto stares and points. Akaashi looks down. “Oh shoot I didn’t even realise I wasn’t wearing anything sorry let me just get dressed,” Akaashi says. He turns bright red from embarrassment as he puts his phone face down on his bed. “He must think I’m so weird,” thought Akaashi. </p>
<p>Akaashi and Bokuto talk for hours and hours until Akaashis eyes start getting heavy. “Are you sleepy Agaashi?” Bokuto gently asks. “No it’s ok I want to talk to you,” Akaashi murmurs. He drifts off to sleep and Bokuto smiles. He watches his new friend peacefully sleep. </p>
<p>He doesn’t want to hang up but when he is about to hang up to go to sleep, he sees Akaashi stirring and suddenly Akaashi sits up gasping for air with sweat running down his cheek. “Agaashi are you ok what happened?” Bokuto asks concerned. “Bokuto?” Akaashi asks, his eyes brimming with tears “you stayed on call even though I fell asleep. I’m so sorry I’m such a bad person...” Akaashi trails off. </p>
<p>“No Agaashi. You’re not a bad person. You were tired, it really doesn’t matter. But I’m worried about you. Are you ok? Did you have a nightmare? You’re sweating,” Bokuto’s softly asks and his eyes emphasise his concern for his friend. </p>
<p>“Yeah I did have a nightmare,” Akaashi mumbles. “Do you want to talk about it?” Bokuto offers. “Can I really tell Bokuto about it? Is there finally someone who I don’t have to pretend around” Akaashi asks himself. He takes a deep breath. “Bokuto if I tell you this will you promise not to look at me differently,” Akaashi asks. “I promise,” Bokuto replies. </p>
<p>Akaashi tells Bokuto the whole story about how his parents died in a car crash a couple of weeks ago and how he had failed to save them while Bokuto listens quietly. “I’m so useless. I wish I could’ve saved them. Why am I such a coward?” Akaashi sobs into the palms of his hands. </p>
<p>“Hey Agaashi look at me,” Bokuto kindly says “none of that was your fault ok? You couldn’t do anything in that situation. Please don’t blame yourself. You aren’t to blame.” Akaashi looks into his eyes, his eyes blood shot from crying and he can see that Bokuto is being honest. </p>
<p>Akaashi’s doorbell rings. “Who is it at this hour?” He wonders, quickly wiping his tears away. “ I’ll call you back,” he tells Bokuto and hangs up the face time. Akaashi opens his door and before he can even see who it is, he is swooped into a hug and instinctively knows that it’s Bokuto. </p>
<p>Tears quickly flow from Akaashi’s eyes as he buries his head in Bokuto’s hood. They embrace and Akaashi is so grateful for Bokuto. He cries until he has no tears left and all the while, Bokuto pats his back, gently murmuring soothing words. Akaashi can feel the walls around his heart crumbling every minute that passes. </p>
<p>Akaashi never knew how much he needed it and wants to stay there forever. After what feels like hours, they separate and Akaashi feels a huge burden has been lifted off of his shoulders. “Thank you,” Akaashi whispers staring at the floor “I really needed that.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to go through this alone,” Bokuto smirks “idiot.” Akaashi blushes and his heart rate quickens. “I should go now,” Bokuto says smiling and turns to leave but Akaashi grabs the back of his coat. “Could you stay please. I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Akaashi reluctantly says, blushing. Bokuto nods, understanding. </p>
<p>——</p>
<p>Akaashi is deep in sleep and Bokuto lightly sleeps next to him, worried about him. Akaashi starts to have the same nightmare and Bokuto notices. Concerned about his friend, Bokuto wraps his strong arms around him to comfort him and Akaashi becomes peaceful. Bokuto smiles, content and they stay that way until the morning. </p>
<p>—— </p>
<p>Akaashi wakes up more relaxed and well rested than he had been but immediately panics when he sees that he’s alone in his room. Then, he notices the scent of pancakes lingering in the air. He hops out of bed, brushes his teeth and races downstairs, his eyes searching for Bokuto. His gaze meets Bokuto’s back and his heart skips a beat. A slight blush appears on his face and he can’t control his smiling. </p>
<p>Akaashi hugs Bokuto from around his waist and Bokuto jumps in surprise. He sees Akaashi and lets him continue to hug him from behind. Akaashi feels Bokuto’s warmth seeping into his body and giving him energy. </p>
<p>“I take it you had a good sleep,” Bokuto says. “Yes thank you for staying. I thought you left,” Akaashi replies. “I’ll never leave you Agaashi,” Bokuto solemnly says. “Just one thing. It’s Akaashi,” Akaashi tells him. Bokuto looks shocked “oh I’m sorry Akaashi,” he corrects himself. “Thank you for everything Bokuto,” Akaashi gratefully says. “No Akaashi. Thank you,” Bokuto replies and something passes between the two of them, as if they had known each other their whole life. </p>
<p>It was at this moment when all of the walls that Akaashi had built around his heart were destroyed and he allowed himself to love and trust people again, for it was Bokuto who showed him that people who are meant to stay in your life will stay. </p>
<p>[A month later] <br/>Bokuto says “Akaashi hurry up we’re gonna be late and then Kuroo will kill us,” but is met with no reply. “Akaashi?” He yells. Silence. Bokuto runs up to their room to check on his boyfriend and he sees Akaashi staring at a piece of paper, completely oblivious to everything around him. Bokuto taps his shoulder and startled, Akaashi jumps. Bokuto sees that the paper in his hand is a photo of himself when he was younger with his parents. </p>
<p>He sees tears beginning to form in Akaashi’s eyes. “I miss them so much it hurts,” Akaashi sighs. Bokuto replies “They loved you and you loved them so of course you’re still going to miss them but they’ll always be a part of you. They’re watching over you and I’m sure that they’ll be happy if you’re happy.” Akaashi smiles. “You constantly remind me why I love you,” he says. “That comes with a price,” Bokuto says, gesturing to his cheek. Akaashi laughs and blushes but eventually he plants a kiss on Bokuto’s cheek.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading and thank you to my friends who encouraged me to post this fanfic. I hope you enjoyed reading it</p></blockquote></div></div>
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